Why does broaching a subject like money in French
end all discussions? How
do the French discuss – or not– terrorism, politics, race, gender and sex?
In
professional business and personal interactions, communication between the
French and foreigners is rarely effortless.
What many fail to realize is that
language is not the real obstacle, and that speaking French grammatically is
not the same as “talking French” culturally.
(St.
Martin’s Press; April 19, 2016)
Julie
Barlow and Jean-Benoît Nadeu unravel the mysteries of French
conversation.
Having spent a decade traveling back and forth to Paris as well
as living there, they take readers beyond what the French are actually saying
to explain the real meanings behind their words and gestures.
Seven Things you need to know when you are talking to the French
from THE BONJOUR EFFECT
1. The French don’t communicate. They converse. For the French, the
point of talking is not to convey information, but to exchange points of view.
If information is what you’re looking for, you may have to be patient, and keep
talking until you get it.
2. The French correct others all the time. It’s normal public
behavior. You should never take offense when the French correct you because
it’s their way of acknowledging you. It means they think you are worth
correcting.
3. The French say no even when they mean yes. It’s the classic
starting position of almost all French conversations. Don’t assume they mean it
and don’t let it stop you. Again, just keep talking. The ‘no’ will almost
always turn into ‘yes.’
4. The French hate saying, “I don’t know.” They have
been raised in a culture where ignorance is inexcusable and they will say
anything rather than admit it. Staff or shopkeepers who don’t know where to
find something will go as far as claiming “it doesn’t exist.” You should never
take it at face value.
5. The French think being negative is good. It makes you look cool
and sound smart. That’s why smiling doesn’t get you good service in France. The
French think people smile for no reason because they are stupid.
6. If a French person talks to you, it’s a sign he or she wants to
establish some kind of relationship. There’s no such thing as “small talk” in
France. Talking means something to the French. Don’t be
shy unless you really want to keep people away from you. Conversely, if a
French person doesn’t talk to you, it means they really don’t want to have
anything to do with you. You should take the hint and not waste your breath.
7. The point of talking in France is to be interesting. That’s why
the French like confrontation. To them, consensus is boring. The way the French
look at it, everyone in a conversation win if everyone plays their best. It’s
like a tennis game – you’re not playing fairly if all you do is return the easy
balls.
ABOUT THE
AUTHORS
JEAN-BENOIT NADEAU and JULIE BARLOW are the award-winning authors of The Story of French, The Story of Spanish,
and the bestselling Sixty Million
Frenchmen Can’t Be Wrong.
They live in
Canada.
For more information visit:www.nadeaubarlow.com.
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