Be Yourself, Be Great, and Be Happy. Guest Post by Paul Ledebur

My motto for the last year or so has been 

Be Yourself, Be Great, Be Happy. 

The photo is Guest Poster Paul L living his motto (Photo by Jim McCoy).

This phrase is instantly inspirational to some but I thought I would explain what is really behind these words. Of course, the meaning will differ from one person to the next and that is fine by me. Everyone must do what they need to do to get through life and there are as many paths as there are people on this earth. This brings me to the first part of the motto.

Be Yourself. Don’t try and be anyone but who you were meant to be. Do things that make you comfortable and in a manner in which you can manage them. Find the values that will guide and best represent you and then live by them to the best of your ability. I have found that my values revolve around being good to others. Three values that instantly come to mind are Honesty, Loyalty and Compassion. I pride myself in these values and do my very best to exhibit them as often as I can. When I reflect on a situation, I ask myself, Was I honest with others and myself? If there is another person involved I also ask, Does that person know I have their back and can count on me?

Finally I ask, Did I show others that I care about them and exhibit understanding of their situation? These to me are essential things that I try to bring to every relationship that I make and have. An easy way to find your values is to literally Google search “personal values”. Write down 20, 30 or more that you like and then each day look at this list and delete one or two until there are only 3-5 left. These are the things that have stuck with you and mean something. Trust your gut, these are your values.

Be Great. When you are living by the values you have chosen, it is important to live by them to the absolute BEST of your ability. Living by your values will help guide your personal and professional life. It may mean a change in jobs; it may mean a change in friends. That is ok. A shake up is usually first on the path to greatness. Recognizing the values that are important to you will unleash a passion that will feed you energy and resilience. As the passion grows within, so does the willpower to put in the necessary work to succeed. Greatness increases with each success and yes, with each failure. Celebrate the successes, learn from the failure and enjoy the ride along the way. There is no limit to the greatness that can be achieved when values, passion and energy are aligned. 

Be Happy. This is probably the part that you have the most control over. There are obstacles for each point that I have made. However, Happiness is a state of mind. That state of mind can be controlled with practice. Material things are not the key to happiness. A lot of people say those words but they don’t truly believe it. I have had the opportunity to travel much of this world and have seen the richest and poorest of regions. I can tell you that I have seen happiness in people who don’t have much more than the shirt on their back and sadness in people who have everything anyone could want. If you follow the first two pieces of my motto, Be Yourself and Be Great, Being Happy is a very natural progression that can happen almost by accident. Happiness is created when you are living the life that you are meant to live and achieving greatness along the way.

Being Yourself and Being Great creates the proper environment for Happiness to grow and flourish within you. The power to look at the worst situation and find the silver lining is in all of us. Everyone has hardships, setbacks and lousy days. Your attitude and state of mind, when dealing with a bad situation, is entirely up to you. Being part of the problem or playing the part of the victim will achieve a feeling of less happiness then when you are the part of the solution. Deciding that a bad situation is not going to be the end of you is a step in the right direction. Harder said than done sometimes, but you CAN do it.

Since coming up with the motto and trying to live by it, some wonderful things have happened to me and in my life in general. Not saying that there haven’t been hard times too, however, these hard times are easier to deal with. Bad situations roll off my back easier and don’t affect me as deeply or slow me down as much as they once did. 

As a Life Coach I will teach you the skills to live by my motto “Be Yourself, Be Great, Be Happy.” I will also help to find your very own motto, if that is what you want. 

Contact me for one-on-one or group sessions. 

Paulledebur@yahoo.com

       

Guest Post: You CAN Make a Difference by Paul Ledebur

In this time of big corporations, big governments and big problems many people are frustrated with the world around them.  The frustration is heard time and time again in conversations and on social media.  

When the question is asked, “What are you doing about it?”, often the answer comes in the form of the question, “What can I do?”  If people would simply put emphasis on a different part of that answer/question, it takes on an entirely different meaning.  Put the emphasis on the “Can” and say “What CAN I do?” and it becomes a statement of intentional action. 

Making a difference in this world is no easy task.  It’s a big world and, as I said before , it has big problems. Does that mean we should just give up?  

NO!  
It just means that we need to take action, work hard and make sacrifices to Make a Difference.  Many people will go through this life and never make a difference.  They will accept whatever hand they are dealt and react to the situations in life the best they know how.  This is one strategy to get through life.  

However, why just accept what is given when it’s possible to go out and get what you really want.  Mediocrity is not something that people strive for but it is what happens over time for some.  Life’s pressures can be great and can slow personal progress.  However, once you identify your values and decide to Make a Difference, the intent to take action comes alive.  The passion builds and the ball starts rolling.  Once momentum is achieved, it is almost impossible to stop.

The way I’m making a difference is to try and make the world a better, happier place by helping others achieve their goals.  Am I taking on everyone at one time and expect this to happen overnight?  No!!  This is a lifetime journey.  The task would be too big for me to do in a day, a year or even a decade.  

It’s okay that that your “Difference” may not happen overnight.  I also try to spread good will by saying something nice to the people I encounter during my day.  This lets them know I care and hopefully they leave feeling better than prior to seeing me.  

That good feeling is spread by them to another person and so on.  The small gestures I make can travel exponentially to others and spread further than I could imagine. 
That is my way of Making a Difference.

John F. Kennedy said, “One person can make a difference, and everyone should try.”  If you think the problems of the world are too big for you to Make a Difference,
ask Nelson Mandela or Martin Luther King, Jr. what one minority person can do about inequality; ask Bill Gates, what a college dropout can do to change the way the world interacts with computers; finally ask the family of Alexandra Scott, Founder of Alex’s Lemonade Stand, what a six year old diagnosed with terminal cancer can do to cure a disease.  
Each one of these remarkable people were at one time, one person that decided to Make a Difference.   

It takes all of us committed to Making a Difference to solve the problems of the world.  Some can be solved quickly and other will take a lifetime and beyond.  With the right attitude and commitment, we can do it.  Believe that wholeheartedly and the difference you make could be the one that changes the world. 

As a Life Coach and Leadership Coach, I will help you identify your values and stand up to Make a Difference for yourself and the world around you.  Contact me for one-on-one or group sessions.  Mastermind Groups are starting all the time. Paulledebur@yahoo.com

       

Don't Get Comfortable- Stretch

We just celebrated our nation’s birthday- Independence Day- the 4^th of July. For me, it signals I have 2 whole months of summer and I need to get outside instead of on the couch rewatching (ahem binge watching) Orange is the New Black again.

I need to remind myself the couch isn’t good for any aspects of my life, my tush, my health, and just my sanity. 

Getting home at the end of the day is such a relief that I just collapse and hug my pets. 

I am SO HAPPY to be home and with my husband or out with friends.

However, I am immensely proud of my day's work. I work hard each day to create the best content and support my team and fulfill my promise to my company to do a great job every day.

The workplace can oppress people, so look for ways to relieve the stress.

Incorporate that feel-good home feeling with a homemade dinner with friends, with a new recipe. Interact with co-workers on a small and fun challenge.

For me, working out, taking on new assignments, interacting with my peers, trying new opportunities, reading books, playing games stretches me- stretches my brain.

Going out of the safe zone that you have created is the best way to stretch yourself.  

This happens when things get too common or easy, or it’s too much effort to go beyond, because life does catch up with you, and some days, it’s all you can do to just survive thru the day- awake, fed, washed, others fed, at work, etc.

However, I believe it is important to go beyond the daily routine. You will always have a daily routine. You have more hours in the day than just working- use them to your advantage!

Meditation and visualization are super important- imagine where you wish to be and with that intent, keep working towards that goal.

Bottom line- don’t get comfortable. Like your job? Find new ways to improve!

Don’t like your job? Look for new projects and ways to arc yourself out into a better position!

Unhappy in love? Love yourself first and do what makes YOU happy.

Not flexible enough- try a new class- even just one small change can keep your brain and body thinking differently.

Always keep improving yourself- you are unique and one of a kind!

How to Make It Count- Everything

Many have heard the term “pay attention to detail.”  Problem is, in this fast-paced world, it gets harder to do that on a consistent basis. In the workplace, there are systems in place to ensure the quality of deliverables.  However, how much attention to detail are we giving our everyday encounters?  Are you paying enough attention to fine details of the service you are providing or the interaction you are having with clients and friends? 

In your professional and personal interactions, the attention to detail is crucial for strong connections.  

I have written about the importance of remembering someone’s name for forming solid connections.  However, there are other details that people will also pick up on. 

Depending on the person, that detail may be the most crucial in determining whether or not they trust you and want to be connected with you for personal or professional reasons. 

A lot of times when we interact with others we have our own agenda, and that is fine. However, don’t let that agenda get in the way of a good connection. You never know what is going to make a person connect with you or not connect with you.  Therefore, you should try to Make Everything Count.  Maybe it’s the way you answer the phone, or the way you say hello or good-bye.  Each person you meet has their own likes, dislikes and pet peeves. 

I know that my sticking point is that I want to be acknowledged when I walk into a place of business or a social situation.  In my mind, it is really easy to take a second and say “Hello, I will be right with you.”  I have held many jobs over the years. Most of these jobs required me to have some kind of interaction with clients/customers. An important lesson I learned in the retail industry was to “Connect” with the customer as soon as possible. 

Just saying “Hello” as soon as they walk in the door reaps great rewards.  You can see an emphasis on this practice in some of the fast food restaurants and home supply chains.  They have a greeter at the door to welcome and guide you. This gives the customer the feeling that they are important and that their needs will be taken care of in that store.  This enhances their experience and will encourage them to come back. 

This idea can translate to your personal life too. I am a very social person and attend all kinds of events.  I like to acknowledge people as soon as I see them, even if I am currently in a conversation.  I will look their way and either wave or shake a hand and let them know I will catch up with them as soon as I can.  This of course is only my personal way of Making Everything Count.  There are plenty of other details that you can work on to strengthen the connections that you make. 

Some helpful tips to think about :

Think of every interaction as a chance to strengthen the connection you have with that person.  Look at it as your opportunity to impress someone that you want to do business with or get to know better on a personal level.  This will motivate you to put your best foot forward and engage that person.

Listen to others. You will hear this advice in every Sales 101 class.  Listening to others will allow you find out what is important to them.  Once the important issues are identified, act on them and a strong connection will follow.

Make people’s lives easier.  If you have the power to make something easier for someone, do it.  This will strengthen any connection you make and will encourage them to give back to you or even others in the future.

Make someone else feel special.  A couple of kind or encouraging words go a long way.  I learned that a long time ago from my cousin Michael.  Everyone LOVED Michael.  When I was about 14, I asked him what his secret was.  He said, “Just say something nice to the people you meet.”  It was so simple yet so life changing for me.  Michael passed away in 1992.  Those words meant so much to me that I still live by them to keep his spirit alive and keep him with me every day.

By paying attention to the small details and Making Everything Count, you can improve your connections with people in your professional and personal life and in turn your overall big picture in life.

Written by Paul Ledebur for Engchik.

Hello July! Try These Epic Ways to Relax

July’s Goals

It's hot! It's the seventh month! It's high summertime!

My swimming pool! Pic by engchik

Get an ice cream at the beach- hello super icy pop or a Chilly SpongeBob, or my favorite- the frozen-brick-hard chocolate eclair bar.

FIREWORKS! Don't miss them this weekend!

Stake out a sweet spot by the pool- and stay there all day! All you need is a gallon or three of water, sunscreen, trashy magazines, some yummy snacks. and an epic novel.
Curb up on your blanket under your sunhat and you’re set.

Leave the phone in your bag, 

No need to Instagram the pool (ok, the pool, but please no hot dog legs. So over that,but let's see a shot of your metallic tootsies or your cute bathing suit ;) I'm engchik on instagram!

My Goals for July are to relax! 
Enjoy my summer! 
Stay under budget!

Reading and relaxing and sipping- my favorite! Pic by engchik

At the beach and enjoying it- with my mom here!

Guest Post: Accepting Your Whole Self by Paul Ledebur

Dear Engchik Readers;

We introduced you to Paul Ledebur, Life Coach, Leadership Trainer and Inspirational Speaker, last month on our blog.  

His story seemed to resonate a lot of you, so I am giving Paul a guest spot on my site so he can connect with and keep inspiring you all!

We will feature an article from Paul once a month.  Here is a little taste of what you can expect in the future. This was originally posted on LinkedIn. Enjoy and look for Paul's new post next month! 

What do you think?

Accepting Your Whole Self

What do you see when you look in the mirror? 

Do you see a pillar of strength, a broken person on the mend, a caring or non-caring person? 

Depending on the day or the time in your life, you may see a myriad of images looking back at you. Some may be good and some may be not-so-good.  An important thing to remember is to Accept Your Whole Self.

Every one of us has characteristics that we may not be entirely proud of or may hide from others for fear of judgement. We also have those characteristics that we want to present for everyone to see. The question is, are the less desirable traits any less important? 

My personal answer to this question is, No.

Our desirable and undesirable characteristics combined are what makes us who we are. Hardships of my early childhood created anger and confusion within me. These feelings were manifested throughout my childhood and teenage years in actions that I am not necessarily proud of. I was often closed down, insensitive and even a bully on occasion.

In my attempt to get attention, I was lashing out because that would force others to pay attention to me. It took a couple of years for me to realize that I was getting attention, but I was getting attention for the wrong reasons, I did not enjoy the negativity that I was creating and that was being directed back toward me. 

I took it upon myself to transform my feelings and actions into more positive ones. I began to receive more positive feedback from people, which was the kind of attention that I was looking for.

However, if it weren’t for these undesirable characteristics I would not be the person I am today. Instead of getting angry with someone who is lashing out, I can feel compassion and try to help them instead of turning my back.  My tolerance of someone’s bad attitude is greater because I know that they are, maybe, feeling pain or are confused themselves.  While the underlying reason may be different, I can identify with the feeling and the manifestation of that pain or confusion.

Simplified, I can be a better person knowing and accepting my undesirable characteristics just as much as I can my desirable characteristics.

Some things to remember to help you Accept Your Whole Self are:

You are NOT alone. 
No one out there is perfect. Everyone has their good times and bad times.  These situations will bring out your best and your worst. Identify both and realize how important each feeling is to making you who you are. Like a painting, you cannot have depth and show light without the contrast of the shadows. Look at the whole picture for the beauty that is you.

Own your uniqueness. 
The good, the bad and the ugly that you have experienced has molded you into a very unique individual. Use the desirable and undesirable characteristics as your strengths. One of the greatest compliments I received as a child was from my Aunt. She said, “You are one unique individual.” There is some emotion and meaning lost due to the lack of context of the situation but I can tell you that it made me so proud just to be me. Being unique is the spice of life and what makes the world an interesting place.

Learn about yourself and grow. 
You can’t accept what you don’t know. Desirable and undesirable characteristics stem from ways that you have coped with situations throughout your life.  After a situation has unfolded, take time to reflect on what you did well and what you didn’t do well. An added benefit to this is that when faced with a similar situation in the future, if you didn’t like the way you handled a situation in the past, you now have more power to change the way you react to the situation. You can make yourself into an ever adapting and ever growing individual, making acceptance of yourself easier over time.

As a Life Coach and Leadership Trainer I will guide you to self-acceptance.  I will help you realize the strengths that you possess from your past experiences, good or bad, and we will figure out how to best apply them to your life.  Feel free to contact me for private, one-on-one coaching sessions or group training.   

Written by Paul Ledebur, please contact him via Linked In!

October Goals!

Ahh good bye September you served me well!

I hit most of my goals:

Stayed at EXACTLY my budget, got a new writing client, took a great vacation and spent most of the month outside when I wasn’t working, swam more, said lots of prayers thanking God and the universe for what I have, and seeing family more.
We also cut a lot of clutter at our neighborhood yard sale.

Now onto October! Goals!

• Kayak one more time
• Hit up the beach one more time (NOTE, GORGEOUS DAY IN AV FOR SEAFOOD FEST ON OCTOBER 11)
• Blog every week in both blogs (note- so far so good!)
• Pay down debt of course
• Cut clutter- working on it! 

Plus I’m looking forward to events every weekend, crisp air, bright leaves, pumpkins, Halloween parties, festivals, family and friends!

HELLO OCTOBER! WE ARE READY FOR YA!

WHAT ARE YOUR OCTOBER GOALS?

Top 10 Things You Need for the Holidays (For Yourself and As Presents)

 

10. Wine for All
If all else fails, buy wine...to drink and to gift. Cupcake Vineyards is home to my favorite wine of all time: Sauvignon Blanc. A clean mouth feel wine that pairs well with just about anything, but moreso shrimp and other seafoods, this wine hails from Marlborough, New Zealand. I love it so much I asked my mom to buy me a case for Christmas. I sure hope I find this under the tree! This juicy burst of fun in a glass is created from Key limes and Meyer lemons along with hints of grapefruit and gooseberry. And we'll definitely be drinking this on Christmas Eve with our shrimp and other Slovak foodstuffs.
 
 

9. Pamper Yourself!
Now I love bath products, so Mainely Cole's is no exception. This holiday season one must pamper herself! Trying out their line of soaps and scrubs was delightful! And my skin felt so smooth and wonderful! Their Cucumber Toner felt refreshing and did not leave my skin tight, a must in this cold and the harsh dry air. This whole line is organic and free of harsh chemicals. Anyone you buy this for will be soooo happy!

8. ElleLauri Dresses
I can’t say enough about this line. Liz and Laura Rymar are design geniuses. They have created some of the most elegant, fun, made in the US clothes around!! Plus, I'm not a stick, and their clothes fit all sizes and all styles. My personal fave is the Kayleigh Skirt, along with the Celeste Cape. Wear one of these numbers on New Year’s Eve and you’ll have plenty to sparkle about! Check out my video with the lovely designers as we discuss the upcoming holiday season.

 
 
 
7. Family Portraits
No time to get the family together for that holiday card? Make sure you have a Canon camera. I have my eye on the EOS Rebel T3 DSLR camera?  Friends say its ease of use, it's a great camera for amateur photographers, creating sharp photos, and has amazing versatility. get everyone together and say CHEESE!
 
6. Staying Healthy
With all this running around, working, buying and wrapping holiday gifts, trying to find time to work out, attempting to get enough sleep, you must MUST keep yourself healthy. One of my fave sites and Twitter pals is Chelsea Krost. She always has great ideas and health info that you need to stay healthy! Another site that I love for health info and great vitamins and yummy on-the-go bars is the SkinnyGirl brand by Bethanny Frankel.  I always keep a few delicious Banana Oatmeal Dark Chocolate On the Go Bars in my desk and purse for when I need a quick meal. I also love my Jack La Lanne Power Juicer- pop in any fruit or veg and instant juice! So healthy, so yummy! You can drink it straight, or add it to a smoothie. My personal favorite mix is kale, strawberries, apples and a peeled lemon (no pith.) Cleansing and yummy- go RELAX!
 
 

5. Get a Fun Manicure to Get Yourself in the Holiday Spirit
Do something that feels good! Grab Mom, your sister, your best friend or go yourself- get a fun holiday manicure from Avalanche Salon and Spa in Trappe, PA. It looks cheery and makes others smile, and is especially uplifting for you! Or, a massage from In Touch Massage Therapy in Schwenksville, or acupuncture from Gateway Bodyworks in Phoenixville, or a facial from Glow in Phoenixville. Just do something for yourself. Take a breather, because you can't help everyone else if you aren't rested.
 
 

4. SodaStream for Yourself or Others

Several things have changed my life - DVR, the iPhone, and the SodaStream. I do not have to buy diet soda. I have a varied selection to choose from depending on my taste. I don't have to worry about recycling, because I am not buying plastic bottles in the first place. It can be as sweet as I want, or crazy carbonated - or not. And the best part- since I love to entertain- I can make several kinds of drinks and not go out of my way to buy a ton of soda for a party. Plus, the canister is recyclable.

When the CO2 canister is empty, I turn it in to Staples, and save $10 off the $25 new one! Plug it in, set the carbonation level, attach the water bottle securely. Then add your soda flavoring and you are set! The special bottle keeps my soda fresh for weeks, doesn't go flat and retains its flavor. My favorite is the diet grapefruit. There are over 60 flavorings! And, I trust this brand. There are several soda-making type machines out there…don’t do it. Go with SodaStream, for yourself or as a great holiday gift!

 

3. A Good Meal
Staying in on Christmas? Going out? My family is Slovak, so we make Pirohy (Think Mrs. T's Pierogi ), Oblátky (thin Communion-type wafers) with garlic and honey to remind us of the sweet and harsh sides of life, nuts, cooked peas or French beans, dried fruit, mushrooms soup, Bobalky (poppy seed, honey and dough), sauerkraut bread, shrimp and fish. We've occasionally blend a few Italian items in such as lasagna, takeout from Maggiano's Little Italy. We don't eat meat on Christmas Eve, but on Christmas Day we will have a ham and turkey. I'm a fan of making a big Christmas Day breakfast, too. While on vacation, I plan to hit up a few of my favorite local restaurants, including Creole Daddy Mim's and the Melting Pot KoP, and just enjoy a few days off.  

 

2. Clean Up Clean the House, or get someone to do it for you- I'd love a Dyson under the tree for me, but until then, my pal Barb is the BEST for getting your place to sparkle. I love to entertain, so this is just perfect at any time, especially the holidays.

 

 

1. LOVE

And the Number one thing I can’t live without is friends and family around the fire for the holidays...maybe even a kiss under the mistletoe if I am lucky…anyone want to volunteer? ;) And a new job in social media or marketing for 2013!



Merry Christmas and
Happy New Year from
Engchik Eats!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

My Top 10 Things You Need for the Holidays (For Yourself and As Presents)

Holiday

So as we head into the July 4th holiday weekend, I always feel that summer is practically over! I am like a little kid during summer. Pool! Beach! Humidity! Road Trips to WW! Ice cream! Getting tan! Wheee!

But, you should see me during the month of August, I get nervous when I see the back to school signs and when it starts to get cool at night, it's all over for me!! Don't take summer away just yet!
But I am getting ahead of myself. I have two glorious months of summer ahead of me, to say nothing of September. I have some great trips planned, 10 days at the Jersey Shore (Girl's Beach Week bitches!!), 1 week at Pennsic- a first for me- where no doubt it will be hot as hell and I'll be camping, but it will rock!

And Labor Day will find my best pal and I at the Finger Lakes in NY along the wine trail...I get get behind that!

SO, unemployment doesn't suck right now- I am doing freelance projects and enjoying the time off. I have never had off during the 4th holiday, well, never had off for several consecutive months, but I am just going with it!

Remember when it seemed that you always had some more 'time?' I just passed the 33- year mark, and things are accumulating...I have about 9 years experience in writing and PR. I have a boatload of amazing friends and family, many with new little families of their own. I've had many relationships. I've been on trips, planes, cruises, trains, beaches, mountains! Lucky for me tho, I still consider myself young.

Life is made up of experiences, and I am lucky to have a lot of them!